I went downstairs to the caf� and waved my three bucks in the guys face, �I�m hungry and I only have three bucks. Got anything for three bucks?� He basically said no, and then I pointed at the sausage and peppers, �Can I just have three bucks worth of that?� �Oh, well, I�ll ask.� And now my belly has sausage and pilaf in it and it is fucking pissed. Meat in a tube is always bad news (except for the man kind, but even then, I never want to do more than make out ever again for a long time). Most meat in a tube is raw; did you know that? Bologna is raw pork, people.

I applied for a job as a bartender. Pray for me or something. I want this job.