I no longer like the boy from the Nerve. He's from goddamned rural PA and he's obsessed with politics. I mean, he will leave me watching his taped reruns of The Simpsons for hours to read the alternative online press outlets.

Okay, the warning signs were there. Within 2 dates, all our conversations somehow turned to me listening to him schpeel on about politics. Secondly, he has ALL of the Simpsons episodes EVER on tape, neatly organized. Thirdly, he's so cheap he buys CANNED chicken. This is perhaps one of the most disturbing facts to me. Nearly everything he eats comes out of a can! He mixes wheat pasta with tuna, soy sauce, and ranch dressing! Yes, people, this, I feel, is grounds for me to question his sanity. Fourth, he's all touchy-feely with me even in public, and goddamn it, I hate that even when I LIKE the boy. Fifth, he's got a bad haircut and bad taste in music and stuff. Call me a snob, but I don't want to be anyone's teacher. Lastly, and this is certainly the most annoying, followed in a close second by everything else I have mentioned; he has catch phrases. He does those little clever things with language, which is tolerable the first time, but when you realize you are going to be subjected to "Chocolate soy milk for the soul?" everytime it is offered to you, it's enough to make you want to piss right there on the kitchen floor because it's all you can do not to want to kill him with your teeth. He even quotes "The Cruise" so much, I fear he may make me hate the documentary that is my very mantra. I started the fucking diaryring, for the love of chicken! At this point, it's damage control.