"Where do you think Chris Cabrabra is right now?" Kelly asks.

That guy's music has been playing for a half an hour and has paralyzed my mind. I'm sick of typing hunched over. I'm sick of no one being here right now and at least once yesterday, but the day before I was distracted and forgot to remember where I was.

I've been lucky.

Kelly and I are sitting across from each other in directors chairs on opposite sides of the room. She had a pained face so I suggested we both tried to make the pained face, but not look at each other so we wouldn't laugh. I failed. It's so hard to try to make the serious face, even if you are feeling serious. She's waiting for the crimson wave to roll in on the full moon.

"Can I swear on that persons testimonial? Will they accept it?"

99 percent of the time I'm not sure what to do with myself. Now I clip my nails waiting for the answer. I've quit drinking and it's been either highly productive or horribly boring. Right now, again, I'm reduced to clipping my nails on the toilet. Bathroom, a flabby change of perspective. I'm stopping myself short of getting into the tub, so I forage through my hair, taking inventory of the white hairs, especially the long ones.

My Itunes is going off the rails on the crazy train. The random just went to NKOTB to the Red House Painters. I'm not sure how I should be feeling.

Wednesday the Mexican came to pick me up to take me to the dead car and see if he could fix it or diagnose the problem or something. He fixes, specifically, his truck and his 63' beetle, but I thought he should have a go at it.

I am sooooo uncool.

(Itunes has decided to play angel eyes by the jeff healy band.

"Dude, slow dancing to this song in the 4th grade," Me.

"I've never slow danced, I was shy," Kelly.

"WHAT?! Did you always say no?," Incredulous me.

"I was never asked."

"Slow dancing is realllly special, you might not want to try it. I don't know if you should."

"I don't think I should.")

I am sooo uncool. We were sitting in the sun on the sidewalk, waiting for the tow truck after establishing that he, in fact, could also turn the igintion and look confused. I felt sorta cool. I said some funny things. I climbed the tree in front of my car. I had on these cool tropical pants and was complimented on the fashion choice. I felt pretty secure in Cooland.

"Dude, you've got something in your tooth."

I feigned ambivalence well, but I felt like a super dork. How the hell old do you have to get to be cool in front of the opposite sex?